Not divorced, kids live with us (1 reply)

Рубрика [ children's health ]

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we have a great relationship when it is just the two of us. He has two great kids, well I now know they are great, but didn’t know them at the time. We decided to live together after being together for 2 years. After 6 months of living together we decided to rent a bigger house so his two daughters (10 and 13) could stay with us a few days a week. For some reason everything started to change after this. He is a very good man, probably feels guilty, because he was very unhappy in his marriage and they both had several affairs. When we met they were getting a seperation. I was very clear that I did not want to get involved with a married man and was assured they both wanted to get a divorce and it was in process, it has never happened. But by this time we were living together. We both have made new rules to build a good relationship and not make the mistakes we did in the past, which works most of the time. I approached his wife and we started to become distant friends. Friends enough for the kids to see us together and help to accept the situation. I do similar things for her and her boyfriend. Nice is a weird way. My main concern is that he changes when the oldes daughter is here. She is a very sweet and intelligent girl, but she really knows how to manipulate her father. To my shock he is running after her begging her, when she does not get her way and goes to her room. I am pretty sure he feels guilty and is trying to make up for not being in the same home together, but it is very uncomfortable for me to see this interaction. I am not not allowed to ride in his car any more as she wants to ride in the front seat and he will not ask her to move. I hate to be petty, but I do not feel comfortable in my own home. They are cuddeled and close and if he puts his hand on my arm she stomps out of the room. When I am with the his kids alone, we have a great time and they are so nice to me? I honestly feel that I have really gone out of my way to try to make things work. But want to leave when they come over, there is so much tention and stress in the house. I am wondering if it would be better for us to live in seperate houses, even though the financial crises has hit. Would this be better for his kids? We truly do try to work in unison, is it better to keep trying? We both are feeling the stress and our releationship is really suffering. I just want whats best for everyone. It is so hard to see it when you are so close. I really could use some advise.

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